Culture LIFESTYLE

An Ode to The New Dark Knight of NYC: The Serial Farter of The West Village

Source

West Village residents are kicking up a stink over a “serial farter” who’s polluting the neighborhood.

Earlier this year, a local blog posted, “It’s happened thrice, so it can’t be a coincidence: There’s some guy who I believe is playing a fart sound as he passes people as some sort of social experiment. I think it’s always the same . . . fart.”

The sleuth posted, “Every time . . . while I was talking to a friend . . . we just get interrupted by this fart that leaves us silent and staring. He plays it as he passes and never looks back, acts like nothing happened. Guy is white, college age, very straight-laced looking.”

The not-so-silent-but-deadly dude went quiet for a while, but one area insider told us on Tuesday, “My wife and I were walking by Washington Square Park, and the guy passed by and just ripped one, and we both started laughing.”

The couple deduced from the blast it could not have been human.

“The dude had a backpack,” said the source, wondering if it housed a flatulence-simulating device.

The source snapped a picture of the prankster — a hipster in shades, shorts, a short-sleeved button-down shirt, running shoes and a gray backpack. Citizens beware.

New York is a place of legends. I could sit here and rattle off names of countless famous NY bred greatness that there would be no room for an actual story, which I’m not going to do. This isn’t about Rockefeller. This isn’t about our current commander in chief. This isn’t about comedic legends or incredible stars of Broadway and the silver screen. Nope, this is about a man so low key, yet so influential with the classic NYC “so cool that we really don’t know who they are” level of legend status that we can only identify him as “The Serial Farter of The West Village”.
He keeps a low profile. Dresses himself in what is the norm in today’s hipster influenced fashion of the city. Sunglasses to hide the eyes of his genius. Shorts to blend in and maintain an unassuming comfort. A short sleeved button down & some running shoes so he can go anywhere in style & comfort. Most importantly, the backpack that doubles as his shield from standing out as well as his hiding spot for the device that takes him from regular joe schmoe roaming Washington Square Park, into the comedic hero who breaks down the seriousness of conversations and the walls we put up to guard ourselves.
When you think about it, we all have a common denominator that can break any tension with a laugh. It can take any serious moment and break it with giggles from all parties involved. It could diffuse any sticky situation. That common denominator, is the hilarity of the sound of a fart. So I’m here to praise The Serial Farter of the West Village. While some may see him as some sort of nuisance, I see him as a man that just wants to spread joy in the purest form, and that form is the hilarious sound of a fart. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna spread the same cheer right by my coworker’s desk. Good Day!

Citizens beware.

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