Pro Wrestling

I Argued With A Bunch Of 8 Year Olds Last Night At WWE MSG. It Was Awesome.

Going to The Garden for a WWE House Show is one of my favorite traditions.  The atmosphere is laid back, I don’t care about about the results and the superstars have the liberty and freedom (AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!) to go outside the box and show their personalities instead of being fed tickle me elmo dribble.

Above all else though, the best part about WWE House Shows are the children.  The look in their eyes, the innocence, the belief that the good guys will triumph over the bad guys.  It’s a beautiful thing.  With that said, it’s even more beautiful to root vehemently against the good guys and rub it right into their faces when the bad guys win (outside of Mojo Rawley of course, that dude just … I dunno … needs help … ZzzZzzzZzzz).

The best bad guy win mindfuck for the little kiddos was when Mr. Burn It Down got one-up’d by the Show Off … “HIS FEET WERE ON THE ROPES!!!! HE CHEATED!”

Whatever kid, that’s life and life ain’t far.

There was no better moment last night than booing Bayley in front of a contingency of huggers.  You’d be surprised at the visceral reaction you get from a child when you tell that 8 year old little girl that Bayley is a backstabber and that Sasha is the real good person.   They deny, deny and deny.   Again, it’s a beautiful thing.  Of course Bayley hit the Bayley To Belly and I had to eat crow, but I tell ya, the slight chance of a tear rolling down their little face is more than worth it.

I even took to Twitter, where The Boss, Sasha Banks threw me a like for my troubles …

Ugh, I wore a Styles shirt like a fuckin’ mark.  Gross. Anyway ..

sashaaaa
KEEPIN’ KAYFABE ALIVE, BOSS LADY!!

Now, while I enjoyed messing with these little marks, I think the best part was when the good guy actually did when and those little shits would dead pan me and be like “NOW WHAT YOU OLD FUCK?!!”

I tell ya, gettin’ heat from an 8 year old is pretty sweet.  In fact, I’d say they cut a better promo than half the roster.  Surprisingly their least favorite guy last night was …. ELIAS.

“Why do you like him?”  “He sucks and talks bad about New York” – kid.

Ummmm, good point .. I guess?  Can’t really argue that.

As for the rest of the event, here are some thoughts:

Hardy/Wyatt combo is SUPER over.  If I’m Vince, I’m rocketstrapping those dudes until the inevitable heel turn from one of them.

Undertaker got the loudest pop of the night.  Goosebumps everywhere.  At 50+ years old he’s still the draw he’s always been and anyone who said “they’re done seeing Taker” is a fucking idiot.  Go watch NJPW bro … I’ll take Taker 10/10 times over your Suzukis, Tanahashis and whatever.

Elias was the best heel of the night.  He’s loved and hated.  Can turn the fans on a dime.  He even gave the fans a little guitar solo rockin’ a Taker hat and played the Deadman’s theme song.  It was truly … GLORIOUS …

Speaking of Glorious, Bobby Roode lost to Mojo Rawley and his brutal ring gear.  That shit needs to change.  That was easily the biggest shocker of the night.  I would have bet the house Roode went over there, but what do I know, I’m just a fuckin’ mark.

Lastly, Ronda Rousey is the biggest asset WWE has and it’s not even close.  Yes, they have the instant draws like Taker and Brock, but at the end of the day, she’s the freshest and most highly anticipated (non-Taker) performer they have.  She’s spectacular in the ring and is a wakeup call to the entire women’s division, because after just a few months in the business, she’s better than all of them.  Her strikes are better.  Her selling is better.  She’s just simply better.

That’s all folks.

 

 

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