Culture Sports

Tom Brady Isn’t Shy About Ass Eatin’ SZN

So Barstool Sports posted on their IG an observational pic that related back to their #AssEatinSZN running joke featuring, YES, one massive hippo devouring the amphibious heiny of another hippo. It’s not clear if they are female and male or male/male or female/female…but does it really matter? No. Because 1. Bad For Brand loves all people and creatures of ALL walks of life. 2. The real story is in the comments. Tom Brady, The GOAT, loves eating ass.

One could argue, but wait, is Tom the receiver or the giver. To that, hey I’m not entirely sure. Even one offseason, when Tom grew his hair out and was doing little “WEEEE” gestures on slides at Brazil’s Carnival, I debated if Tom was transitioning or at least ensure him and Gisele were indistinguishable.


1. It throws off the paparazzi. “Oh hey Tom, Tom, Tom, oh shit that’s Giselle…hey Giselle, what’s it like being the bread winner for your family?” Or maybe since no one in Brazil cares who Tom is because they worship soccer there, Tom had wanted to look like his wife so media would crowd around him, inflating his ego but only because they mistook him for his wife. REGARDLESS, my mind went to a lot of places after that comment.

You know the song “What If God Was One Of Us,” well here we are. He is. Just a dude, trying to live and possibly receiving/giving some ass eating post shower.  I can only guess he enjoys receiving it since every NFL season he has to ask every NFL team, “How does my ass taste, guys?” Even at almost 41, Tommy boy has still got it even if it’s leaving a sneaky comment on an animalistic butt nommin’ post for two very Hungry, Hungry Hippos. He has found the fountain of youth. Tom and the Patriots go 16-0 and win the SB, calling it now.

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