Pro Wrestling

So Who Was Sacrificed To The Wrestling Gods So The Revival Could Pin Roman Reigns Last Night?

Last night on Monday Night RAW the unthinkable happened.  Roman Reigns was pinned, with a rollup no less, by a member of the Revival.   I don’t even know which Revival guy did it, but it doesn’t matter.  This isn’t just a win for The Revival, it’s a win for everyone and anyone that believes in a fair and just world where slick haired Samoans that wear riot gear to the ring don’t need to headline every WrestleMania in which people pay 1,000 dollars to sit 10th row dead center … (not that I would ever be that person 😉

Although I must admit that the hate on Roman Reigns at this point has become a bit annoying.  It’s almost as if making the “Roman Sucks” joke makes you look like a loser and cheap at this point … but here’s the thing, the dude is still not entertaining and he’s still in a prime spot.  GASP!  This was alluded to last night when Bobby Lashley and his big fuckin’ smile said what all of us are thinking, which is that we’re tired of seeing Roman freaken Reigns against Brock Lesnar.   Enough is enough and it’s time for a change a wise man once said, and indeed, it still stands true today.

As for how the hell this happened, I dunno.  Maybe someone forgot Vince’s ketchup for his steak and he personally went on a trip to Whole Foods or a Food Emporium to pick it up to ensure that it was done properly.   During this time, Triple H may have taken over the show and given his NXT babies that win quickly before anyone would notice … that’s one theory.

Or … the more logical theory which is that a wrestler was sacrificed to the wrestling gods to make this happen.  I’m talking thrown down the Moon Door like it’s Game Of Thrones type sacrifice.  If I had to guess, I’d say the perfect sacrifice would be someone popular on the indy circuit.  Like a Will Ospreay or Marty Scurll.  No one too huge, but big enough to give Roman the “L”.  If we’re talking main roster sacrifices, I’d say we’re looking along the lines of a Curt Hawkins or Heath Slater, reason being because despite their positions on the main roster, they’re actually entertaining, something Roman isn’t with a mic in his hand.  This clearly is how it would be done because in order to get entertainment, you need to offer up something worthy and useful to the gods.  I’m sure Slater or Hawkins could make them laugh …

Seriously though, there is just no way Roman loses like this in the opening of RAW any time over the past 3 years.  It just .. wasn’t … happening.  While I may sound like a massive fucking nerd here, it’s serious.  This is a big deal.  Roman losing means that he’s falling somewhat in the pack of the rest of the roster.  Is he still going to be in a prominent position as long as his hair flows like a river?  You bet your candy ass, but maybe this means that he’ll actually be written for in a logical way .. ya know, by like not beating everyone all the time and actually losing when it makes sense and not because there’s a threat of a nerd riot occurring both on the internet and in person at a WrestleMania?

Follow me @NickVacation on Twitter

 

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