Pro Wrestling

Bad Day For Flying Continues As Psychopath Asks Zack Ryder To Switch His Aisle Seat For His Middle Seat

You wanna talk about being BAD FOR BRAND, well, the flying industry is having itself a day, let me tell ya!  First, we have my this absolute crazy lady on Spirit Airlines cutting the best promo since Stone Cold’s “Austin 3:16” promo mid-flight, but now to top that Zack Ryder tweeted earlier that some total lunatic broski asked a 6’4 man, who recently had major knee surgery, who is above the age of 30, to move from the aisle seat to the middle seat … ON A RED EYE!

Let me hit you all with a little bit of knowledge, I’m 5’7 and I only book the aisle seat on a flight.  As far as I’m concerned, the middle and window are for poor/dumb people.  I don’t even need the extra space given my Italian genetics (still 3rd tallest in my Family though), but even I say fuck the window and definitely fuck the middle seat.  I ain’t about that life.  MAYBE, MAAAYYBBBBEEEE when I was in my early 20s and poor I’d look for the cheapest seat available and not give a shit about being squished between two absolute strangers, but not any more.  When I fly, I need to be comfortable and have options.  That means I want to be able to roam the cabin and be the Gandalf from Lord Of The Rings of my row.  If you want to get by, it’s on my watch, pal.  Just don’t give me attitude and if I’m sleeping, making sure to be polite or …

… and I’m serious, bro!

OH BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE …

The guy had a reason why Long Island Iced Z had to move …

HE WAS WITH HIS FRIENDS, MAN!  So I guess we can’t hate on the guy completely, right? I mean, we’ve all been there, bro.  You’re in your 20s, you’re taking a Redeye because you have no money, so you and your broskis decide to crush vodka OJs like savages because the trip is going to be TOTALLY EPIC!  And for all those haters that say “But Zack is flying the redeye and he’s got money, you make no sense“, ummmm have you seen that dudes toy collection?  Dude is paying like $25,000 for a fucking Kamala figure with a moon on his belly or some shit.  To add on to that, he now has to feed two cats and cover the cost of the fastpass at all these amusement parks.  That has debt written all over it!  (kidding, he’s probably super rich.  He sold a ton of those fucking spiked hair gimmicks).

My guess is that Zack put an end to this discussion faster than WWE did his push when they had Kane toss him off the entrance ramp in a wheelchair sporting a neckbrace.  Oh you’re selling merchandise?? SEE YA, BROSKI!  WE DON’T LIKE PRINTING MONEY! WOO WOO WOO … WOOOAHAHHAHAHAHA!

So I’ll leave you with this.  The aisle seat is GOLD.  There is nothing better.  Sometimes I’m actually shook when I go to select my seat on an almost full flight and there’s some available.  They should be the first to go if anything! Also, on the topic of seats, I’ll never understand people who like the window.  I know you get to lean on it (kinda, sorta) to catch some Long Island Iced ZZzzZZZzzs, but why the fuck would you want to have to ask two people to get up every time you need to stretch or take a piss?  Why would you want to be in a spot where you can’t spread the ol’ legs into the aisle and make it impossible for the stewardess to flawlessly get down the aisle without interruption?  Seems like amateur hour to me.   In fact, you seem like the type of guy that would ask Zack Ryder to switch with you.  Woo Woo Woo, You Got The Middle Seat, Bro!

Follow me on Twitter @NickVacation

 

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