TMZ – So real life Jon Snow and Ygritte got married over the weekend … or so they claim, but I’m not buying it. This is Hollywood we’re talking about and those people cannot be trusted.
PSA: If you haven’t watched Game Of Thrones, first off, that’s “SAD!”, secondly, there are MAJOR SPOILERS beyond this point so beware and proceed with caution or just don’t read any further (thanks for the click, though!)
Seriously, let’s use our freaken heads people. How many times has someone come back from the dead to re-enter the series of Game Of Thrones? Ummm … like a bazillion times, including the groom here, Jon Snow himself, Kit Harington.
What if this is just an elaborate scheme to be played out before our eyes in 2019 when the last 6 episodes air? You gotta think that with everyone trying to find out what could possibly be the conclusion to one of the greatest television shows off all time that the Directors and those aware of the ending would do everything in their power to preserve the secret!
Let’s look at the facts: Ygritte is dead. She was shot by that little shit millennial with a bow and arrow, breaking the heart of Jon Snow and more importantly, the viewers. THEY WERE MEANT TO BE! While I’m all about this Daenerys and Jon romance minus the fact that she’s his Aunt, you can’t help but wish that Ygritte, his true love, was in play here. She’s the ying to his yang, the peanut butter to his jelly, you feel me? So think about it, what better way to film the conclusion to GOT than to stage a fake wedding where you can film Ygritte marrying Jon Snow without bringing attention to the fact that you’re FILMING FREAKING YGRITTE, WHO’S DEAD, which would set off nerd alarms everywhere that Jon Snow’s one true love was brought back from the dead (probably by the Red Woman), who has TOTALLY REDEEMED HERSELF for being an accomplice to burning that kid alive (everyone deserves a second chance) and committing a worse injustice than Brendan Dassey is currently experiencing from the justice system and the Manitowoc County police department. By the way, can we get that fuckin’ kid out of jail? He’s missed like 8 WrestleManias.
Then there’s the photos that TMZ posted of the wedding and the Game Of Thrones stars that attended. Yea, ummm, where are all the dead people? Oh, that’s right, I don’t see any. Everyone in the wedding is currently alive in the series. Coincidence? I think not, which proves the fact that this isn’t a dream sequence or some bullshit. Listen, if Hodor or someone else shows up in photos I’ll call this theory a wrap, but until then, this is your Season 8 Finale. I don’t even see Cersei, who probably got eaten by a Dragon, so clearly she didn’t end up on the Iron Throne. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Night King got ordained as a minister and performed the ceremony. Vintage Heel to Babyface turn for the Night King, straight out of late 90s WWF, where he turns on Cersei and aligns with Jon Snow etc.. etc..
On the love interest front, if I had to guess, Ygritte came back from the dead and caught Jon taking Daenerys into a cave and she was like “ohhh helll no, that’s my cave, that’s my thing with Jon” and boom, she’s killing Daenerys right then and there. You don’t fuck with someone’s crazy ex-girlfriend. I mean, Ygritte shot Jon with a bow and arrow when she was in love with him, let’s not forget. “Stay woke” as the kids say.
So there ya have it, the production crew of Game Of Thrones just pulled off the greatest swerve in history right before our eyes. An elaborate scheme that has been orchestrated since the first gossip magazine reported that Kit Harington and Rose Leslie were dating. Everyone at home is sitting here thinking they’re breaking the 4th Wall with this wedding coverage, but in actuality, The Wall at the end of Season 7 was the only thing to bite the dust as it turns out.
Now as for the Dragons, who the fuck knows. You figure that out. Maybe they never RSVP’d and missed the wedding, I dunno.
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