Culture

The Legendary Juelz Santana Has to Bring His Mom on Tour bc a Judge Said so LOL

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NEWARK, N.J. — Rapper Juelz Santana can go on tour while he’s facing weapons charges, providing he’s monitored by an electronic ankle bracelet … and mom.

A federal judge on Friday modified the bail conditions for Santana, whose real name is LaRon James, to allow him to play the first five shows of his upcoming 15-city nationwide tour.

Among the conditions: that Santana’s mother accompanies him on the trips, that he drives instead of flies and that they don’t travel with other members of the tour.

Bruh I am DYING! This is hysterical! Could you imagine being a rapper on tour, and having to bring your MOM everywhere with you? I’d take a death sentence over that. Put me in fuckin Supermax at that point. You’d have more freedom that way.

Think about it. If your mom is like my mom (side note: I would do anything for my mom and I’m a mommas not at heart. Call her almost every day to make sure she’s all good. So don’t get this twisted. That woman is a saint and if you say otherwise you’ll be meeting St Peter at the gates sooner rather than later chief), then you know you’re not having any fun on that tour. No blunts. Getting judged with every sip of booze. Cock blocking you all over the place with the groupies. It’s gotta be hell. Literally worse than a death sentence. If I saw Juelz right now, even as a lifelong fan of Cam & Dipset, I’d be like

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