Culture LIFESTYLE

Hey IHOP, Way To Re-define BAD FOR BRAND ya MORONS

Yes, Dan wrote about this but what a wishy washy take. Here’s a take from someone who once ate 16.5 pancakes plus a full breakfast of eggs, bacon, and hash browns in one sitting at an iHOP in MA. Welcome to my dojo.

ihop

Last week, IHOP decides to send out a tweet saying they are changing the name and it’s gonna be IHOB. Ok. B equals breakfast. That’s what they are known for. Makes total sense. Good for brand. Maybe the omelette sales will pick up (they make a solid omelette over there real talk).

This morning, they reveal that the B is for Burgers. Not breakfast, their staple, but friggin BURGERS!! No one has ordered a burger in an iHOP since the Clinton administaration!!! That’s not what they do!!! They cure your hangover as the Waffle House of the north. You go in, you suck down a beast of a breakfast, and then you go home and recover. What you don’t go there for, IS A GOD DAMN BACON CHEESEBURGER!!!

Imagine looking someone in the eye and saying, “you know what? I could really go for an iHOP burger!” Of course you can’t imagine that BECAUSE NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND HAS EVER SAID SUCH A THING!!!! YOU DON’T RUN TO DA NEAREST TACO BELL TA EAT TURKEY SANDWICHES!!! USE YA NOODLE IHOP JEEZ.

*adjusts mic. Sips Diet Coke*

Back afta dis

mike zaun

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