Blah blah blah Trump is holding a summit with Kim and North Korea. Blah blah blah IHOP is changing to International House of Burgers. *Record scratch* Uhhhhhh What? Huh? What in the wild blue fuck is going on? Pump the brakes America. Our country is now being threatened. The world is about to descend in to chaos. Down into the abyss.
Oh…well it’s burgers you say? I mean that is my thing. Burgers for days. But threatening the home of the underpriced pancakes? I don’t know about that one, guys. IHOP has been a staple for families, elderly couples and hung over delinquents for years. And now you’re throwing this “We do burgers now” bullshit at us? Not to mention IHOB is just going in. Completely. So much so they are replacing all p’s with b’s in spelling. This is Tom Foolery, folks.
How DARE you. Don’t patronize me. But on the other hand, no one has created more buzz with a change of one letter in their name since P. Diddy became Diddy. This may be upsetting to the simpleton and pancake fanatic. But it’s genius in terms of the marketing team. When is the last time IHOP created buzz? Probably when you were legit buzzed at 2 AM. It was trending on Twitter and hit the front headlines. Plus, this is America. Do we suddenly NOT like burgers now? No. And take it one step further. You know they are going to do some crazy crossover shit like breakfast burgers or a pancake burger. Yeah, I would eat it. We binge on The Food Network and Man Vs. Food, you don’t think people will love this? Come on, they put the b in IHOb and we put the b in obesity. The people will show up. Or do I mean the beoble? You can bet on this guy, Burgess N Fries, being there at some point.