Culture LIFESTYLE

Behold! The Most Depressing Tweet of All Time

So this gem of a tweet just showed up on my timeline. I totally agree with ghost bitch here that it’s mind bottling that this is a promoted tweet. Like George literally paid to have this tweet show up on random timelines. Insanity. Let’s break this bad boy down tho because there’s some wild stuff here.

“Women always say no games but play them anyway”

George, if you didn’t figure this out before high school you may qualify for state disability for being mentally unfit to hold a job. I mean come on bro! This is common knowledge.

“I am 53 years old and never had a lover”

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure George is a 53 year old virgin and not a priest or a monk. We need to make sure there’s surveillance on this dude 24/7 365. If you’ve never sniffed a box by the time you’re 53, there’s no telling how crazy you might be. Skin suits everywhere. Rooms of blow up dolls. I don’t even wanna go any deeper my skin is crawling. PUKE CITY.

“All but two years of my life have been spent in the same house”

Jesus tap dancing Christ bro get the fuck out a bit more. You gotta see the world. No wonder why you’re 53 and a virgin, YOU NEVER LEFT HOME!!! No self respecting woman is fucking a dude who still lives at home past like 25. Science homie.

“There are plenty of women in my past who knew I was serious about a relationship and ditched me. No one cares!”

Georgie Georgie Georgie. You gotta chillax bro. You know why they ditched you? I’ll tell you why. It’s because you’re a weirdo living with his parents, with no game, no hope, no future. You gotta spruce it up big guy. Get a bachelor pad. New haircut. Some fresh gear. Take some pics in your new spot with your fresh gear and get that tinder / bumble / whatever app you use to chase muff and end this losing streak. There’s still a shred of hope for you left pal. GET IT POPPIN GEORGIE BOY!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s