Go ahead, judge me. I could careless. You can take your artsy and educated takes on quality beer and shove them straight up your non refreshing ass for all I care. I’ll say it loud and proud. I love Bud Light Lime.
I honestly don’t understand how the rest of you don’t love this beer … or maybe you do and you’re just not man enough to be comfortable with this particular beverage of choice. Maybe you think it’s a chick drink? Maybe it’s too awesome for you, I dunno? Listen, and this is a straight shoot, any time I’ve gone to a BBQ, a party or a pregame I’ve brought Bud Light Lime and every time I bring it I get judged immediately without fail. Then slowly but surely everybody starts asking me for one. Then not-so-slowly but surely I see that more and more people have my beverage of choice in their hand. They just can’t resist.
In my opinion, you’re all a bunch of cowards. You walk around with your bud lights and your bud heavys because you’re too worried about being judged, all the while a guy like me comes strolling in with a citrus lime alcoholic blast of refreshment and buzz and you can’t help but be jealous. I’m almost 33 years old and could give two shits what anyone thinks about what I like nowadays and that’s how the rest of you should be. So stop drinking that garbage and get on the citrus train with the cool kids.
It’s kinda like Corona Light, the poor man’s Bud Light Lime, my second favorite brewski and official beverage back up plan for when a bodega doesn’t stock the alpha of summer beers. I feel like at one point in time some asshole came along and decided that if you’re not drinking a standard Corona, that’s there’s something wrong with you. Listen pal, I got goals, okay? “Fitness” goals and they’re tied to my caloric intake. In fact, you’re lucky I’m here drinking with your sorry, lonely ass on a Saturday afternoon when I could be at Bed Bath & Beyond with my wife picking out appliances for when she inevitably ends my life by moving me to the suburbs of exotic New Jersey.
So spare me the judgement. Let me drink what I want in peace and don’t expect an apology from me if I offend your taste buds. Newsflash, YOUR TASTE BUDS SUCK, BRO! Bud Light Lime is the best beer in the fucking world. Every single time I grab one of those golden bottles with a hint of green from the bottom of an icey grave it’s like watching an angel get its wings. It’s truly a religious experience. You twist the lid and let the goodness reign supreme on your taste buds as the fine sting from the citrus and carbonation reek havoc on your flavor endorphins. There’s nothing better. There’s nothing cooler. It’s good for brand and your bud heavy, it’s as bad as it gets.
Bon Voyage, bro.
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