Authorities in Connecticut recently arrested a man who allegedly used an alligator in a bizarre attempt to extort money from the family of a man he’s accused of kidnapping.
“They got this alligator on me, and they saying that if no money is given they are gonna have him chewing on me,” the victim said in an April 6 phone call to an aunt living in Bridgeport, according to The Connecticut Post.
The victim, identified only as a 21-year-old man, reportedly told his aunt he’d been kidnapped and the man who’d abducted him was demanding an $800 ransom in exchange for his release.
When the woman demanded proof that her nephew was unharmed, the kidnapper allegedly texted her a photo of her nephew, hog-tied in a tub, with a 3-foot American alligator on his back, baring its teeth.
So this happened last week up in my old stomping grounds of CT. Some nutbag and his GF kidnapped this dude and tried to extort the family. There’s some good and some bad here so let’s start with the good.
The good for brand part is this sick bastard keeps his captives in place with a bad ass gator. A nice 3 footer that loves flashing its pearly whites. A reptile with no soul and even less hesitation to take your foot clean off as you lie there, hog-tied & helpless. I mean, him laying this dude in a bathtub is a godsend considering there was zero chance he wasn’t pissing himself. This way it goes down the drain at least. It’s all pipes (shout out Costanza da GAWD).
Now for the Bad for Brand part. $800 bucks. Eight. Hundred. Dollars. 8 Benjamin Franklins. You go through all this trouble, find a victim, hog-tie them, get a fucking GATOR AS A GUARD DOG, just to try and get 800 bucks for a ransom. That is absolutely, positively, PATHETIC!!! YOU CAN’T WASTE THE DAMN GATOR ON 800 DOLLAR JOBS THATS CRIME SCHOOL 101 YOU DIMWIT!!! GOD, there is nothing more bad for brand for a criminal to do all that for so little. Just an embarrassment to the game.