Culture

3 Maine Men Almost Pull Off Genius Heist, Steal Shed By Dragging It With Their Pickup

Ah, almost! This is so Maine it hurts. Maine is basically the Florida of the Northeast if you didn’t know. Nicknaming it Vacationland is the biggest insult to vacations and land. There is nothing but backwoods banter and hillbilly racket that occurs in Maine. I know, I know, it depends on which area of Maine. So basically everywhere except Portland…it’s pretty hick. Some people say there are more teeth in your mouth right now than collectively in any town in Maine. Come on guys, that’s just mean!

But seriously, at one point did these dudes realize dragging a stolen shed down the road was a bad idea? I would say as soon as they heard the police sirens. “The police?!? But how?!? Oh, dang, did you forget to wrap the shed in our invisibility cloak?” Nice one, guys, Danny Ocean would be proud. To be fair, two of the men were from New Hampshire which is just a smaller clone of Maine. Leave the men alone! They just wanted to go hang out in their new shed in peace. Why didn’t they just build their own or steal materials to build one? Eh, probably the same reason they didn’t even put a jack or trailer under the shed when literally dragging it down the street.

 

Honestly, it would have been great if when the cops pulled them over, they all jumped out of the truck and tried to hide in the shed.

“Come out with your hands up!” – cops

“No one is home and this is private property!” -burglars

“Ummm, I can hear you, we will be forced to enter if you don’t come out now with your hands up!”- cops

“Do you have a warrant?” -burglars

“Aw, damn it, got us.” -cops

But alas, that is not how it went down. Actually, not only did the cops find them in this little Benny Hill scene, they also found crystal meth and prescription pills on them. Now, this is REALLY Maine guys. Only thing missing was stolen lobsters in the pickup bed and they were all wearing plaid. But look at this bunch, it’s pretty close to what I imagined. Terrible for Maine’s brand.

mainecriminals

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