Sports

JD Martinez hit so many homers, he made himself sick and left game early

Don’t you remember this happening to you? You’re so good at something, you make yourself sick. Right? No, me neither. I once ate six packages of Ding Dongs and made myself sick but that’s different and off topic. Maybe the Orioles poisoned him? Just kidding guys! (maybe) The real story here is Jumbo Dong, Just Dingers, Just Deep…whatever you want to call him…JD is living up to his name. He’s good for brand and playing AS ADVERTISED.

No one needs to recap the game for you through typing it out, that’s what these are for:

So yeah, what they said. JD is now tied for the lead for RBIs and HRs. Just DAMN. Earning that money.

damnronsimmons

Martinez has been getting everyone going from six to midnight with his .994 OPS for April and now he’s just straight up destroying May. He’s now Thanos for the MLB sending baseballs into orbit. If you don’t get that joke, you probably hate “sci-fi”, comic book movies or just about anything fun…it’s making over a BILLION dollars so everyone likes it except you. JAG. Anyway…

JD started off with just 5 HRs before this month and has already smashed 8 more taters this month. He’s heating up. Actually, he’s on fire. Live look at JD in May:

manonfire

Sorry it was supposed to be an NBA Jam joke:

nbajam

Oh you don’t like GIFs either? GTFO.

So now Martinez has 8 HRs in May and still has time this month to add to that feat. It’s a pretty deep group on the HR leaderboard but JD will start to separate himself as a man amongst boys. Meanwhile, his batting average? .348. And the only player with a better one? Mookie Betts. The Red Sox are starting to look very formidable and Fenway is becoming very friendly to the new teammate in JD.

Let’s hope he keeps having months like this one or even his 16 dinger September last season where he really earned his nickname. He should start approaching every at bat like this:

sandlotpoint

 

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