What happens when you combine two of America’s favorite pastimes? You get the 1994 Pro Wrestling Starting Lineup, that’s what! I was taking a trip down memory lane thinking about how much of a total BADASS video game RBI Baseball ’94 was and it got me thinking.. What would have been the Pro Wrestling All Star Team way back when, specifically, 1994.
What would the lineup look like? Who would play where? Not everyone can bat 3rd or hit cleanup, even if everyone on the roster is GOOD FOR THE BRAND and BAD FOR OPPOSING PITCHERS, BROTHER!
Please welcome your 1994 Pro Wrestling starting lineup …
Leadoff – The 1-2-3 Kid, 2B
Scrappy. The 1-2-3 Kid got the job done by any means necessary. In 1993, he bursted onto the scene by beating Razor Ramon in one of the most famous matches in Monday Night Raw history. He’s kind of like what Timo Perez was for the Mets in 2000, only he didn’t become a huge bust after people realized he couldn’t handle a curveball. His speed and agility is bound to give opposing pitchers nightmares on the mound. Has has been known to jump ship though, so it’ll be interesting to see if he stays loyal or tries his hand in free agency at the end of the year.
2. Ric Flair, LF
You gotta have someone who is willing to get dirty in the 2 hole and who better than the dirtiest player in the game. A man who can do it all, a man who is a proven Champion to help set the tone. A man who makes others look a million bucks. Whether it’s taking the extra base or sacrificing himself, he somehow, always ends up scoring both on the field and off the field, if ya know what I mean … WOOOOOOO! Stayin’ up all night and little bit longer! WOOOOOOOO!
3. Bret “Hitman” Hart, 3B
The name says it all. Hitman. Your best hitter all around. Your team Captain. In 1994, Bret Hart exemplified everything it meant to be a leader in the clubhouse and a SAVAGE on the diamond. The “Excellence of Execution” did everything right. 5 Tool, great spokesman, sold tickets and was great for Public Relations. He mans the hot corner, because controversy and “heat” are bound to find their way to him. You gotta think that a player of his caliber entering his prime will definitely find himself in the middle of heated contract negotiations in the near future.
4. Hulk Hogan, 1B
After sitting out a year due to contract negotiations, Hogan made his return and picked up right where he left off, in the heart of the order, batting cleanup. Playing 1B, he didn’t have to do much on the defensive end and rarely sold anything. He’d pretty much let his teammates do the job and then he’d put on the finishing touches, BIG BOOT and 1-2-3 and the inning is over. At the plate, he mashed and rarely ever struck out. Even if he did, he’d still find himself batting 4th for the entirety of his career due to his contract.
5. Sting, CF
If you ask others, they say the team is suffering from NOT having the Stinger batting 4th and being protected by Hogan. This guy is an absolute stud. 5 Tool Player with tons of flash, Willie Mays-esque. He’s always been overlooked coming from WCW, but everyone has always known he’s one of the elite. Reliable and loyal, it’s going to be incredibly tough for opposing teams to pry this stud from the team that made him a star once his contract is up.
6. The Undertaker, RF
The ultimate team player. The Undertaker never needed the spotlight, but he’s always there to answer the call if needed. Could he bat 3rd? Sure, but if the manager needs him to elevate and protect others, he’ll do so without thinking twice. He’s a fan favorite and a truly unique player. Some say he’s a once in a lifetime talent. People pay to simply see him walk to the batter’s box, even if it takes about 20 minutes and has a ton of pyro and lighting effects.
7. Razor Ramon, C
A player who should have already won a few World Series, but hasn’t got there yet. Maybe he never will. Nonetheless, he packs a massive punch and oozes Machismo while also displaying tons of grit as The Bad Guy of the Club House. It would be a shame if he left in Free Agency after the 1995 season comes to a close a year from now. He’s been featured on Sports Illustrated before and has already been awarded the Silver Slugger Award on two separate occasions. He’s most likely to climb the ladder match of success, however, distractions and the party life could deter him from reaching his full potential.
8. Vader, DH
A lumbering hitter, Vader is like Jose Canseco. Tons of power, but he needs to actually make contact. He’s got one job to do, and that’s hit the baseball. Cardio has never been his thing, so the DH was obviously his calling. He looks for the Homerun every plate appearance and never pulls a punch. In fact, he’s been prone to Strikeouts and being overly aggressive with his offensive approach, which is why he finds himself in the 8 spot. Rumor has it that the coaches lack the confidence in him to give him a top spot in the order.
9. Shawn Michaels, SS
After a few years of playing the backseat to bigger stars, HBK has started to come into his own, however, his ego keeps him in the 9 spot. Maybe this is the wrong move, but it’s the manager’s call at the end of the day. HBK is actually a great story because things really started to pickup after he left the team that drafted him, The Rockers. Nonetheless, his confidence is through the roof despite batting 9th. If you ask him, he thinks he should be batting 3rd, but he needs to be humbled first before he’s handed the keys to the kingdom. Scouting report is that he’s a 5 tool player, but still needs to improve in the power department. Maybe add on some size in the offseason as well. His ability to perform on any stage and make any play is why he commands the infield at Shortstop for the 1994 Professional Wrestling All Star Team.
Manager – Jimmy Hart
So many to pick from, but fresh off being signed by WCW, the 1994 version of Jimmy Hart brought Hogan to the title. That’s what this team needs. Someone who is in win-now mode. He also has a mouth piece on him, so he won’t hesitate to get thrown out of a game or two … after all, this is Sports Entertainment.
Did I leave anyone out? Do you disagree? Who would be the worst teammate/bad for brand?
Let me know on Twitter @NickVacation