Pro Wrestling

Enzo Cleared Of Charges … WWE Needs The Sauce Back, But It Won’t Happen Cuz They’re SAWFT!

He’s Muscle Marinara and he’s got the sauce.  So yesterday, @Real1 decided to drop some knowledge on us on his Instagram and Twitter page that he was cleared of all charges stemming from accusations made by some random lunatic.  Here’s the tweet.

Case closed.

I get it.  Enzo may have rubbed people the wrong way, but guess what, it’s not my place or anyone else’s to judge this guy because like I always say, we literally don’t know shit.  If you’re reading information about his case or followed the dirt sheets, your information is guaranteed to be half baked and skewed.  That’s just how the “news” cycle works nowadays.

But I’m not here to talk about his case.  It doesn’t affect my life outside of the fact that WWE is less entertaining without him having a microphone in his hand.  That part sucks and that’s what I want to talk about.  If anyone hasn’t said it already, I will.  I want Enzo Amore back in the WWE.  Do I think it’s going to happen?  Hell no.  I don’t think there’s any chance this monster publicly traded company takes on unwanted “baggage”.  And to be honest, they won’t do it in my opinion because frankly, Enzo doesn’t align with their top business objective, which is to make money.  If you doubt that, see: Greatest Royal Rumble.  #MakeMoneyAtAllCosts

Can Enzo draw money?  Hell yes, he can.  But enough to warrant a return?  That’s the issue.  WWE is doing just fine.  Now, if they actually had competition (and no, NJPW is not competition, sorry kids), then that would be a different story.  If the WWE’s top priority was to entertain, then Enzo would be opening RAW this coming Monday, but it’s not.  The WWE’s top priority as a BUSINESS will be to maintain and increase its money flow, ESPECIALLY in the wake of all 3,458 social justice movements across the US.  In that regard, Enzo creates a conflict of interest.  He’s the rare case of when someone is GOOD and BAD FOR BRAND.

How do I know (or believe) this?  Well, let’s compare it to an actual sport, Football.  Odell Beckham is a royal pain in the ass off and on the field at times.  I definitely know this because as a Giants fan he drives me nuts.  However, just like me, the front office will put up with him and put him out there EVERY SUNDAY because their top priority is WINNING.  Make money? Sure, but they’re trying to win Superbowls no doubt about it.  The WWE doesn’t have that issue.  They don’t need their Superstars to win.  It’s not real.  They just need to make sure that stock is going up and the profits are rolling in.

As for WWE creative, I want Enzo back because I’d rather watch him cut a promo than listen or watch 90% of the roster right now.   I see everyone talking about Samoa Joe’s awesome promos as of late.  Hate to break it to ya, but Joe can’t lace Enzo’s Jordan’s in that department.  Joe is 1 note, while Enzo is a million.  Also, please, spare me the 35th rendition of The Bar vs. (fill in team here).  Shit is old.  Give me new.  Give me REAL.  Say what you want about Enzo, but in terms of promo work and entertainment value, he’s as real as it gets.  When he’s a babyface, he DIVES into that roll.  The kids, the girls, the dudes, they all love him.  When he’s a heel, holy shit, even I forget it’s all an act.  Maybe it’s because I’m from Brooklyn and know that guys from New Jersey are actually this insufferable in real life.

Lastly, let me be clear that I don’t think Enzo is the victim here.  Did he get screwed over by some batshit crazy individual? Probably.  But that’s also on him, because you are the company you keep.  Enzo would always say that “if you ain’t talkin’ money, than you ain’t talkin’ about nothing”.  And that’s a cool quote, but if you’re truly this big time business man/entertainer, you’re not hanging out with chumps and bad influences.  You got your shit in check.  So I hope this was the wake up call he needed and I’m pretty sure it was .. afterall, when you’re facing time behind bars, how can it not be?

No matter what, he’ll be doing something, whether it’s music, acting or wrestling … I hope it’s wrestling.  He’s too talented to be kept down.  As the Macho Man would say, the cream always rise to the top … and Enzo … he’s in the cream in his cuppa haters and it’s time for your coffee, how you doin?


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