Culture

The Cobra Kai Were The True Heros

As the great war continues and keyboard warriors across the nation mount a continuous onslaught against what truly makes America great, there lies hope.  Hope that can be found in the 1984 blockbuster hit, “The Karate Kid”.

For years adults and children have been led to believe that Daniel Larusso was the hero of the story.  The new kid in town who fought against bullies and students of the Cobra Kai dojo.  And while Daniel Son did triumph in the end, it was the Cobra Kai students who found true compassion, resolve and didn’t require participation trophies to satisfy their weak, baby shit soft egos.  They set an example and really good one at that. Despite all their supposed “aggressive” training, it was Bobby Brown who displayed compassion and instant regret when having to “sweep the leg” of young Daniel.  It was Johnny Lawrence who presented Daniel with his trophy after experiencing defeat.  Now ask yourself, do these two young men seem like monsters?  They seem more like role models to me …

Their sensei, John Kreese also received flack for his approach to discipline, which I find completely preposterous.  The man was an ex-Special Forces Vietnam veteran. HE SERVED OUR COUNTRY!  If anything, he should have our RESPECT!  Anyone with a brain would understand that he was merely providing his students with the same tools he was given while he served and protected us from enemies afar. As is, for the past 30 years the Cobra Kai mission statement that Daniel first heard when entering their dojo has been greeted with much criticism. To me, this is a grave mis-characterization.  In my opinion, in a time where our world in 2018 is facing great pussification and turnmoil, the Cobra Kai mission statement is more relevant and NEEDED as ever.

Shall we review?  …… Yes, Sensei!

FEAR, does not exist in this Dojo, does it? 

If you’re afraid to fail, you’ll never succeed. Isn’t that what every MEME says nowadays?  So it’s okay when someone who looks like he microwaves his own meals posts it on Instagram, you’ll throw that a like and the “prayer emoji”, but when John Kreese, an American hero says it, now it’s too aggressive all of a sudden?  Fuck that jabroni shit.  BE BAD for me, one time!  It’s those that fear failure and fear taking a risk that never reach their dreams.  John “Freaken” Kreese, man … he was on to something, I’m tellin ya.

PAIN, does not exist in this Dojo, does it?

What’s life without obstacles, amirite?  If you never experienced pain or setbacks, you wouldn’t be able to build character.  If you never lose the big game or get caught with your dick in your hand looking at 3 straight pitches like Carlos Beltron in 06, you’ll never be able to appreciate winning.  That’s just life.

DEFEAT, does not exist in this Dojo, does it?

It’s not how many times you get knocked down, it’s how many times you get back up.  That’s why God created supplements and steroids, so we can get so fuckin’ shredded, jacked and fast that you’ll be able to beat people who can’t afford the supplements, thus never losing again.

PREPARE! 

I mean do I have to say it?  The Cobra Kai is preparing you for life.  Their mission statement could be recited in schools before the homeroom bell rings it’s so good.  Everyone would attack the day at light speed to be the best version of themselves.  People will LOVE EACH OTHER for the BAD DUDE that they’ve become. There would be no jealously because when you’re a bad dude, you emulate no man.

The Cobra Kai is what the world needs right now.  Luckily for us, YouTube Red dropped a hammerdick series that takes place 30 years after the 1984 All Valley Karate Tournement.  This time around, I know exactly what side I’ll be on.  Believe that.

SWEEP THE LEG!  NO MERCY!

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