Pro Wrestling

If You Don’t Go To Mania 34 You’re An Idiot

Pick up a second job.  Get on the pole.  Do what you have to do.  It doesn’t matter.  YOU MUST find a way to attend WrestleMania 34 in New Orleans.

I don’t know how many conversations I’ve had over the last few months about this event.  Trying to explain to people why the flights being expensive don’t matter.  Why having to take days off from work is trivial.  Having to explain that IT DOESN’T MATTER if you like wrestling.

WrestleMania is no longer just one big event.  It’s a full blown vacation.  If you like Comicon, just imagine it on steroids and a ton of pre workout.  That’s WrestleMania.  Yes, the event will be entertaining just like it is every year, BUT this year specifically is absolute can’t miss.

As reported today, there is a monster rumor of Cena vs. Taker being one of the two main events.  I mean, if we’re being honest, it IS the Main Event and nothing else will be close.  Even if CM Punk decided to comeback and take on Triple H, it wouldn’t matter.  THIS IS IT.  This is the match that the entire audience wants to see.  If you’re one of those people that argue “Well, his send off was perfect, I really don’t need to see a 50 year old Taker fight” I understand.  Completely.  But I think you’re taking this a bit too seriously.  Have a little fun, why dontcha!  If you are a wrestling fan and you can see Undertaker walk down that entrance ramp again, YOU BETTER SIGN UP.  We got one life and we got one Undertaker.   Sign me up, all day every day and take my money.

Also,  I think this match is appropriate.  And although Undertaker’s “send off” last year was pretty much perfect, it just didn’t seem right to me that Roman was the guy.  Sure, he’s the Big Dog, but I don’t think he deserves that honor.  Sure, he has the resume, but times are different and Cena is cut from a different cloth.  Furthermore, if anyone is worried about continuity, take a minute to remember the moment (which has been replayed a million times), when Undertaker gave a debuting Cena his approval via handshake.  That moment is not to be overlooked in WWE lure.  This is what you call coming full circle.

Now, beyond just the latest rumor, I don’t think I need to say it, but we’re in NEW FUCKING ORLEANS.  This is the ideal place for WrestleMania.  NOLA on its own is crazy, but when you stick thousands of wrestling fans in the swamp, you’re talking about a new level.  And the people out there that mock wrestling fans, whatever, I don’t care.  We all have our inner-nerd and for those of you who think it’s lame, you’re missing out.  I’m 32 years old and there’s no place I’d rather be on April 8th, 2018 other than the Mercedes-Benz Superdome.

Go online, buy a ticket and look at your bank statement later.  This was a short one, but that’s what happens when what you’re talking about the easiest no-brainer of all time.

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